Bon voyage. . .
“and subsequently bear in mind your transient position
allows you a perspective that’s unique.”
During the last few months, I’ve come to feel as if I’m standing on a platform, waiting for the train to pull away. I feel the trappings of my former life beginning to disappear. People, places, attitudes that once were such a part of me are now like a beautiful woman gazing at me sadly through the glass, knowing as I do that the time has finally come.
There’s an odd sort of comfort in all of this – a feeling of completeness, a feeling that all is undoubtedly as it should be.
Older relatives prepare for their final journeys. Careers are called into question. Visits with friends grow further in between. Weekends now are spent with clients, with the woman that I love, at sweat lodges and Medicine Wheel ceremonies.
Many times, as the sacred Grandfathers threw steam and herb-smoke into the air, I’ve prayed for Spirit to remove the obstacles that keep me from walking this path. Now if feel as if this is finally happening. Although it’s only April, my schedule’s filled until the end of August. Spirit, it seems, has decided to honor my request.
Looking back on the bars and the women, the lies and the anger, the bigotry, arrogance and insanity of my youth – and the loneliness and depression that dogged a great many of the years between now and then – I’m acutely aware of the transience of everything. I’m especially aware of the transience of self – or that which we perceive as self until the years begin to teach us otherwise. . .