I guess I should begin by saying that I’m a very blessed man.
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything – except for my thesis and the occasional snarky (and in my humble opinion, devastatingly clever) e-mail or Facebook post – but sometimes I just get tired of the sound of my own voice and I have to let the echoes die down for a while before kicking the dust back up again.
I‘ve been involved in a lot of healing this year: both that of the people who’ve come to me and also my own; which exhibited itself in some illuminating – if not downright annoying – physical and emotional symptoms. Still, it’s been a good and necessary ride. And while the finish line for some of these things may finally be directly in sight, I’m also acutely aware that the deep work is just beginning.
Perhaps it’s my own ignorance, or perhaps it’s my faith in the Creator that brought me to this place, but I can honestly say that I don’t feel scared. (I know, I know…this is the point where the veterans in the room shake their heads, smile, and whisper, “Poor bastard…”) It’s not that I don’t expect there’ll be difficult times…I do. And I fully realize that I CAN’T fully realize the severity of ANY healing experience headed my way. It’s just that I’ve been praying for guidance for a long time now, and things finally seem to be moving in a certain direction…even though I may not be exactly certain what that direction is.
And maybe that’s the point.
Ever since the dance this past July, I’ve made it a practice whenever faced with a moment of anxiety or indecision to think of All My Relations, turn the matter over to a Higher Authority and ask, “What do They need?”
I‘ve also been repeating what a teacher of mine has referred to as a Warrior’s prayer. Its simple humility both belies and accentuates its power.
I leave you with it in hopes that it may aid you should you need it. And also perhaps to illustrate, if only to myself, my willingness to enter gratefully into the next phase of this life, whatever that may be.
“Bring me everything I’m ready for; but no more than I can handle…”